A Custom Roast Book is a one-of-a-kind, personalised roast turned into a professionally printed book.

You tell us who the victim is, give us the inside scoop, and we transform it into 60–80 brutal, hilarious, tailor-made roast jokes. Then we print it, bind it, and ship it directly to their (or your) door.

1. Place your order.
   
2. Once you check out, you’ll receive an order confirmation email with a link to your Roast Form.
   
3. Fill out the form with as many juicy details as you can (or as few — we’ve got backup jokes).
   
4. Our team roasts them to perfection.
   
5. We print the book and ship it straight to you.

We’ll ask about their name, age, job, hobbies, weird habits, legendary stories, and anything else worth mocking.

The form is quick and fun, and you don’t have to answer everything. The more you give us, the better the roast.

• Standard Roast Book: Softcover (paperback), high-quality, durable print, perfect for laughs on a budget.
• Premium Roast Book: Hardcover, matte finish, sleek and sturdy, a roast worthy of display (or long-term trauma).
  
  The content inside is the same; it’s just the packaging that changes.

You get to choose the level of pain:

🧁 Mild: Playful teasing. Safe for work, family, and sensitive egos.

🔥 Medium: Biting sarcasm and sharp digs. Not too harsh, not too soft.

🔥🔥 Savage: Ruthless. No filter. Full ego destruction. You've been warned.

• Roast writing: 1–3 business days
• Printing & shipping (UK only): 9–12 business days

Total turnaround: usually within 2 weeks from the day you submit your roast form.

Not yet. Right now we only ship within the UK; but we’re working on international delivery. Sign up to our newsletter to be notified when that changes.

Because every book is completely custom-written and printed to order, we don’t accept returns for change of mind.

However — if your book arrives damaged, or you’re genuinely unhappy with it, get in touch within 30 days and we’ll make it right.

Check out our Returns Policy for the full details.

That’s totally fine; we’ve got a stockpile of 100+ handcrafted general roast jokes ready to drop in.

But the more personal details you provide, the more brutal (and hilarious) your book will be.

Yes — but not the soulless kind.

We use a custom AI roasting tool to help generate and shape the jokes, but every book is reviewed and edited by a real human to make sure it’s sharp, funny, and actually makes sense.

AI helps us write faster. Humans make it sting.

Every book includes:

• A custom cover
• 60–80 savage jokes tailored to your victim
• A funny intro and outro
• High-quality printing (standard or hardcover)

It’s a gift they’ll never forget — or forgive.