The Science of Roasting: Why Insults Are Actually a Love Language

Let’s be honest: some of us show love with hugs. Others with gifts.
But a special kind of person shows love by calling their best friend a “feral raccoon in a human costume.”

Welcome to the complex, hilarious, and surprisingly wholesome world of roasting as affection.

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering “Why does my friend constantly insult me, then buy me lunch?” don’t worry, you’re not broken. You’re just emotionally fluent in sarcasm.
And science backs you up.

The Psychology Behind Playful Insults

Roasting — when done well — isn’t about cruelty. It’s about connection.
Researchers call it “affiliative teasing”, using humor to reinforce closeness in a relationship. Unlike hostile teasing (which is, well, mean), affiliative teasing helps bond people through mutual understanding and shared context.

According to a 2018 study from the University of Kansas, banter and teasing are often tools for expressing trust. You don’t roast strangers, you roast the people who know you (and know you won’t take it too seriously).

Roasts Say: “I Know You”

The best roasts aren’t random. They’re personal.
You tease your friend about being chronically late because it’s true. You make fun of your partner’s five-step skincare routine because you’ve watched it in awe every night for years.

It’s oddly intimate, right?

That’s what makes a roast meaningful: it shows that you’ve been paying attention. It’s a weirdly specific kind of affection.

The Fine Line: When Roasting Goes Wrong

Of course, not all insults are loving.

The key difference? Intent and context.
Loving roasts are shared between people who know each other well, and they land because there’s mutual respect underneath. Without that, it’s just being mean in a silly voice.

If you’re not sure where the line is, just ask: Would I still say this if they were having a terrible day?

If the answer’s no… maybe go for a light roast instead of a dark one.

Turning Roasts into Gifts (Yes, Really)

This is exactly why Custom Roast Book exists. It takes that instinct — to lovingly roast your friend, partner, or sibling — and turns it into something they’ll laugh at forever.

You tell us about them. We craft a roast. You get the credit (or the blame).
It’s like giving someone a framed photo of their worst traits — but make it funny, beautiful, and honestly kind of touching.

Roast with Love

So no, you're not a terrible person for calling your brother “a walking WiFi signal with no emotional range.”
You might just be emotionally intelligent.

Roasting is a love language for the emotionally evolved, the sarcastically fluent, and the secretly sentimental.

Just remember: roast responsibly. Love deeply. And insult hilariously.

Want to turn your love language into a keepsake?
👉 Go full savage and order a personalised roast book today.